I ran the whole f***ing way.

Oxford, May 11th 2014

In what can be described best as “the closest we’ve gotten yet to Hell freezing over” a long time “walk/runner” and well known “snail” ran a whole f***ing 10k.

“I ran the whole f***ing thing,” she is quoted as saying.

News agents on the site can verify she’s never run that f***ing long in an actual, timed race and that because she’s not fully trained up she’s really going to hurt tomorrow [1].

When asked why she ran the whole f***ing thing she was quoted as saying, “Because when you’ve got two of the best f***ing people in the world to run for, you f***ing run.”

The runner would like to point out that she was, however, beaten by a f***ing fully grown man in a chicken suit. (See photo insert.)

“I’ve got to keep some level of standards.  When I lived in Texas a large f***ing pumpkin would often pass me at 5ks and some traditions should be kept alive.”

Her time came in at slightly over 1 hour, 13 minutes beating her old time of 1 hour, 14 minutes.

“This may not seem important to most people, mainly most English runners because, f***, those people are committed, but it’s stupid fast for me.”

The chicken beat her by two minutes.

[1] The runner can report that she was, in fact, in a f*** load of pain the next day.