This is the second attempt at creating a summer party for my office in the year and some months I have worked here.

This is also the second attempt where I am working very hard to get businesses to take my money.

Odd thing about England, they don’t like to take your money when you want to give them lots of money.  Example conversation:

“Hello,” (this is fake version of me) “I would like to completely utilize your entire facility and give you lots and lots of money.”

“Hmm…” says business person, “You really want to do this?”

“Yes,” says fake me, “I really would like to exchange money for services.  Perferably food and drink.”

“Hmm…” says business person, “Are we talking actually doing something in which I perform a service and you give me money for it and it’s not anything illegal?”

“Yes,” says fake me, “I want to give you British Pounds Stirling with pictures of a Queen on it and you will do something for me and all my many, many colleagues.  We’re nice people.”

“I don’t know.”

“But,” I (fake) plead, “You have this thing that we want to do and food we want to eat and drink we want to drink.  I will schedule it.  I will come and set up.  Hell, I’ll serve the entire group and clean up after!  AND I WILL PAY YOU FOR IT!!!”

“Geez,” says the business person, “That still sounds like a lot of hassle.”

The first time I attempted this it was with a local owned pub which was shortly thereafter sold, so I assumed that it was just tired owners.  But a larger business that I am after is completely ignoring me after I made the introductory calls.  It’s beyond my comprehension as any opportunity to be able to secure, in advance, a massive group of people with planning and cash upfront just screams “TAKE THIS DEAL! TAKE THIS DEAL!”  But, the British worry that it is impolite to do so.  They don’t have problems with smaller transactions, but the moment you head above £1,000.00 for a local business things get weird.

So, as of next week if I can’t contact anyone the event will be hosted in my garden.  At least I know the service, which so far is listed as marginal.  At least it comes with a dog.

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