Sometimes I have these ideas…

Like creating a tour in Oxford called “The Tour of Oxford Where We Lie to You.”  What I would do is take little groups of people around and tell complete fabrications about the buildings and history.  You know, like the time Julius Caesar marched his army through Christ Church and planted an olive tree of peace only after negotiating with the monks that lived there.  And considering that this happened in the United States recently I have carte blanche to do so.  I’m American, after all, and my leaders say it is a-okay.

I know that in this day and age people struggle for ideas on how to best market their products and services.  I feel that I can provide two revolutionary ideas: 1. Subliminal Webinars and 2. Preemptive Invoicing.  Both will take incredibly small amounts of time to put together and will be hailed as revolutionary performance art.  I also believe all mail pieces should come on flash paper.

Recently on Twitter a friend asked for ideas on a class on how not to be an idiot on social media.  In order to attract an audience to this event I suggested she post a nude photo of herself with the invite which links to a public blog where she talks about how much she hates her job.  If she could also work in ways to insult every race, sex, and religion during the class and post it onto YouTube and plop that into a government Twitter feed that would be spectacular.

Can you tell I am impatiently awaiting new running shoes?  And for a clean bill of health?  I am.  Or these ideas will get worse.  Much worse.

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