OhmagawdOhmagawd…

Posted in Marathon Training, Running with tags , on October 6, 2011 by cmerritt42

I went home yesterday in a funk.  After spending over four hours attempting to apply custom fonts to a website I had failed.  As I biked home I was trying my best to pump myself up.  “Failure,” I kept saying to myself, “is just the path to success.”  After all no one gets everything right the first time, you just have to keep learning and trying.  (And if you are one of those people who do get it right once, well poo on you.)

Upon arriving home all time converts to the dog and his orange squeaky.  He stood behind the glass door, joy in his face and tail whirling around like a propeller.  I let him out to do his pre-squeaky potty break and went to get the lead and doggy bags.  As per usual he had mercilessly attacked the mail, because in doggy mind the mail is out to kill us all.  (So are recycle trucks, garbage trucks, and anyone who walks by the house – but that is another blog post.)  As I stacked together the items I noticed a red plastic bag with a vague depiction of little running people peeking out from behind it.  At first I thought it was a running catalog and I could thereby spend a few hours spending imaginary money until I realized…

…it said congratulations on the front cover.  Actually, it said CONGRATULATIONS!

And I knew what it was.

I had seen it before, but it had a different persons name on it.  I remember the extreme jealousy.  I remember getting similar magazine that said “commiserations aka COMMISERATIONS!” and a wind jacket which I refer to as “The Red Jacket of Rejection.”

It was my acceptance place into the London Marathon.

Holy crap.

I started jumping up and down screaming, “OhmagawdOhmagawdOhmagawd!”  which prompted the dog to run up and start barking uncontrollably at me (and probably thinking “ThrowtheballThrowtheballThrowtheball!”).  I have, to date, never removed the cover of a plastic wrapper so quickly, nor checked the acceptance form so throughly  to make sure that it was mine.

Mine all freak-tastic-awesome mine.

And then, as I bounded out to the garden with an equally happy dog, it hit me.  After 3 years and one successful marathon I had willingly signed up for a second.

Willingly.

Signed.

Up.

For.

ANOTHER.

Marathon.

WILLINGLY.

But this is the one I wanted most.  The one that would be, for me, the hardest to get into.  (Although I have hope for that place in Boston when I’m 105.  By then I may actually have a qualifying time.)  So, I’m going to do it.  Not because I have to, because I want to.

Sometimes it is nice to sign up for something that is stupid hard simply for the desire to complete it.

How to Cope with Race Day Jitters

Posted in Running with tags , , , on September 25, 2011 by cmerritt42

Dear Miss Race Manners,

I’m about to run my very first half marathon/marathon/5k – how do I cope with race day jitters?

Sincerely,

Jitter Bug

Dear Jitter Bug,

Considering that I’m sitting here on the couch after waking up in a dead panic at 4AM the day before my 11th or 12th half marathon (I honestly can’t remember), I can tell you that there is a pretty high possibility you will never get over race day jitters.  I recall that when I ran my first long race I spent the entire night up out of pure fear I would miss my alarm, and took the first bus in to the starting area a good two+ hours before the gun went off.  I can also tell you that I’ve done such things as set two or three alarms, forced myself to eat despite feeling ill (you need to because it is nerves), and have a fixation with visiting the port-a-potty at least twice to make sure I don’t have to run off course to do my business in the woods… which you will see about mile two of any major race.  Mass exodus to the nearest patch of trees.  I’m not kidding.

I know seasoned endurance racers who have given up on any practical means of rest the night before racing because they are so excited/nervous.  I know others who can fall asleep, wake up refreshed, and post their personal best and then go grocery shopping.   I can tell you that it gets better in time.  That even if you are like me and have a bit of a panic that you will have it like clockwork and then say to yourself, “Well, you’ve had your panic now get what you can out of rest before you really need to get up.”

But most importantly I will say this: Despite whatever nerves, worries, excitement, make sure that you eat and hydrate.  Don’t try for fancy food on the day, just the normal stuff you eat for a normal breakfast.  After the race is over and you have your little medal then do something fancy.

Finally, don’t worry – everyone at the race is nervous in some form.  Everyone.  You’re just becoming part of that tradition.

The picking of the running outfit.

Posted in Running with tags , on September 24, 2011 by cmerritt42

Yet another thing a non-runner wouldn’t understand: Race Day Running Outfit.

Tomorrow I am doing this: Oxford Half Marathon

So you know, it’s the first half marathon run through Oxford in a really long time.  They have the Oxford Town and Gown and the most awesome two-mile race ever, Santas on the Run.  But they haven’t run a half marathon since the 90s.

As I prep to be part of this inaugural race I have dutifully stuffed my Fuel Belt with Gu, washed all my water bottles, and attached my timing chip to my shoe.  These things are easy.  But where I fret is in what I wear.

First, I want to make sure I’ve got color going on.  I don’t have an ounce of speed, but as I jog along I want people to at least see some vibrance.  Second, I’m not yet sure if I want to pair the bright top with shorts or with running capris.  So, after some initial thoughts I have decided to create a primary and a secondary outfit.  Primary outfit consists of the lime green Run to the Beat jersey I got my first race after moving here and black running capris with a comfy waist.  I’ve also decided on a full running top (not half) in case it gets warm and I don’t feel up to flashing some major skin.

Secondary outfit is a switch from capris to my most obnoxious pair of shorts.

My feet will be sporting the most wonderful running socks on Earth, 1000 mile.  I cannot decide if they will be the pink ones or the blue ones.  I also will be introducing my newest pair of Brooks running shoes, having discovered recently that my current pair have lost all their traction.

I have carefully folded all this material and placed it within easy arms reach of waking up.  In a few minutes I will go and carefully put my Fuel Belt together and put all race day information in one place.

This, of course, will mean little tomorrow, when I wake up in a panic despite the planning.  Mercifully I’m not driving to the race, as if I was there is another race day ritual I don’t enjoy talking about: upset tummy driving around panicking even if I get there 2 hours before the start gun.

We won’t walk about that.  We’ll stick with outfits.  Yes, outfits are good.

Where I was on September 11, 2001

Posted in Uncategorized on September 11, 2011 by cmerritt42

I was in Houston, and I was so sick of all the bickering.

After spending a very brief stint at an architecture office, where I was daily criticized by former sorority sisters for the outfits I wore (I hate Ann Taylor because of that stint), I had made the blind leap into politics.  Grassroots, unglamorous, first-time-serious-attempt-at-office politics.  It was supposed to be non-party based, but you could pretty much call my work Democratic.  I worked with three other people at a core level, and we would each expand and contract campaigns, building staff and volunteers as you headed toward election day.  There was nothing fabulous about the work because it was straight-up hard work.  Anywhere from 12 to 20 hours of hard work.  In hindsight I look at that time spent as my Masters in the Real World, because the real world came hard and fast when you worked in grassroots politics.  West Wing this world ain’t.

Before I had joined the Head of Campaign Management had gotten one person into city office.  An amazing woman named Annise Parker.  I remember when I met her I knew she was the kind of person who went into politics not for personal glory, but for the actual call of making a city better.  At the time she was running for re-election to an At-Large Council seat, and I listen to her advice slavishly, having no clue to what I was doing.  I had been assigned a woman named Ada Edwards, who had a fascinating past as a single mother struggling to improve her area of Houston, District D.  I was to work her house party fundraising.  For those who don’t know, house parties are a very easy way to raise campaign funds and introduce a candidate to about 20-30 people.  The can be simple or elaborate, but the concept was the same – raise funds, raise awareness.

Ada’s main competition had on its side a Congresswoman named Sheila Jackson Lee.  Congresswoman Jackson Lee is a tough cookie to stand up against, and she didn’t mess around.  Using Ada’s son, who had died in the midst of gang violence, she went on radio and decried Ada as a bad mother.  It was merciless, and the lesson it taught me quite a bit about rising above personal attacks.  But at the time it was just too much to listen to, and so, on September 11, 2001 I had decided I was not going to listen to the radio.

I was so tired of the bickering.

I was happy that day, because everyone was going to be out of the office that morning.  I was going to get a mess of paperwork done.

The weird thing was, everyone was driving so slow.

Anyone who lives in Houston knows that the speed limit is a suggestion.  If it says 35, the speed is 45, if not 50.  I had made it through the roundabout (yes, Houston has one) and on to Montrose and was just trapped in cars going the actual speed limit.  In my frustration I bypassed the usual Starbucks run and fought my way into work and into silent, peaceful bliss.  I had pulled apart all the file cabinets and was sorting everything for all the campaigns we working on when my colleague Dave burst into the office.

“A plane has hit the World Trade Center.”

Those words floated through my head.  World Trade Center.  World Trade Center.  I had visited there in high school.  The elevator to the observation deck was quite a ride.

At the time playing television over the web was a bit of a novelty, but with a finesse that was obviously channeling importance, he had it on and running.  There it was, a smoking tower.  A few moment later our boss came in.  He was supposed to be meeting with the Mayor, but when the plane hit the first tower they rushed the Mayor off.  Houston is the third or fourth largest city in the US, and a key holder of oil and gas business, so it was precautionary.

We all sort of stood there.  I recall some vague attempts to get back to filing.  I couldn’t.  I stood there.  Then my colleague called out from the back of the office, another plane had hit the other tower.

After awhile our boss told us to go home.  We would assess what to have the candidates say tomorrow.  Today was a day to be with family.

I went to a friend’s house.  They had a big screen television.  We found out they attacked the Pentagon, and then we found out a plane had crashed in a field.  We just sat there, shocked.  Her Mom made us food, but everything felt empty.  In a bit of a strange, American consumerism moment, I desired an American flag.  I wanted to have something, hold something.  The stores were sold out, and there were people on corners selling them in bulk for ridiculous prices.  We may have just been attacked, but by God we were businessmen.

In the aftermath fundraising became abysmal.  People who had been working on our small little campaigns jumped ship to fancier campaigns for firefighters and workers who had lost their lives.  I couldn’t blame them.  The general feeling in the US was, for a time, comradery.  Despite, it was as if the work we had done on our little campaigns were wiped away like the towers were.

We fought back, though.  Annise got re-elected, and Ada entered her first term as Councilwoman for District D.  Ada would later end her long and storied career as a re-elected Councilwoman and Annise would eventually become Mayor.  In between I experienced a lot of failure and endured a final campaign that – I would later realize – would serve as a platform for election of Sue Lovell to City Council.  Sometimes you have to lose in order to win.

If there is one thing that September 11th taught me, it’s that sometimes you need to forget yourself and think about the greater cause.  Before the World Trade Center was attacked I had been so insulated with this silly fight between campaigns I had forgotten why in the world I had gotten into politics.  To be so self-absorbed, so stuck on the infighting I had forgotten that there were thousands of people who didn’t give two cents if Ada had lost her son to violence, they just wanted their city to be a safe place to live with good schools and good infrastructure.

I started listening more after that.  Tried harder for it to not be about me so much.  It’s made me a more decent person in the long run.  I think in terms of human lives more than numbers these days.  Perhaps it’s because of all those memorials, where they put up a flag or a candle or a flower for all the people who died 10 years ago today.  Each little memorial speaks of a life cut short.  A person’s life.  You don’t need to know what they did, or if there were some great person or a total jerk, but that they were a person.

I hope today, if not going forward, people start treating each other more like people.  It annoys me that tragedies sometimes have to happen for people to remember that there are other people out there besides them.  That perhaps if we were nicer, if we listened, if we conversed and didn’t spend our time just screaming that the world would be a better place.  That fewer people would grow up to aspire to hurt and instead to heal.

We need more peace on this globe.  Today, lets have a bit of peace.

Get an Excuse to Run

Posted in Running with tags , , , on September 8, 2011 by cmerritt42

Inspiration o’ the month: David Walliams Swims the Thames

I would like to point out, for the sake of it, that he is currently swimming the Thames (140 MILES of it) with a stomach bug.

For those of you unfamiliar with who on Earth this guy is, there is this show called Little Britain.  He’s the tall one.  I was first introduced to them during Comic Relief, where I watched them do a little sketch.  I never thought much of him until a few days ago, when a colleague of mine pointed out he’d be swimming through the Osney Lock on his way to London.

And then it was, like, “Hold up.  This dude is hardcore.”

So even though the day was gale force winds (which I biked through and don’t recommend) I went out to cheer for him.  I even have a picture of him in the water.  Wah-lah:

He’s the white speck cap to the left of the swans.

So what does this have to do with running?  Well, nothing except one thing: Sometimes, you just gotta keep doing it.  It is so easy to have excuses not to run, and when that happens, find the excuse to run.

David is doing this all for charity.  There is the personal satisfaction of completing a huge task, but I don’t think he would be as motivated to keep going without the people he’s met while doing charity work.  I’m sure he doesn’t want to let those people, or the people supporting him, down.  So he powers on.

On a smaller level and in my little world, I’ve found out I’ve actually inspired people to run.  Some of them have even found out they are rather good at it.  So they’ve become my excuse to run right now.  Another reason to power through.

Whether it’s setting a good example for your kids or earning the right to ice cream, find your excuse.  It can be lofty and amazing, like what David is doing, or small and silly – but any excuse to run is a good excuse.

Just find one and grasp on.

 

 

Hey guys, I have this idea…

Posted in English Living with tags , , , on September 4, 2011 by cmerritt42

You know how, after years of being nomads wandering around this island and living off the land we all got together and started to do this thing called agriculture?  Yeah, I know, it’s super awesome and means we started thinking up crazy stuff like not building our homes out of mud.  In fact, I was talking to my friend Bob over here, who’s been hacking away at that hard stuff called stone and you know what he told me?

He told me, “Jim,” he said, “I reckon that given enough manpower we could put really big stones in this town.  Maybe stand them upright, put them in a decorative circle.”

Now Bob’s always been one for the barley drink, but who isn’t?  Water isn’t all that healthy anyway considering all the stuff in it that makes you sick.  So at first I thought Bob was well off his rocker, but then… then I thought…

Maybe Bob has an idea going on here.

Because, you see, all these mud houses we have here melt.  And that mound Jeff thought up is going to take forever to build.  (Remember how he was going on and on about those guys he encountered on a raft down south?  All that “live forever” and “book of the dead” stuff?)  But setting up these stones in this field over here…

Now that’s something that is going to stick around for a while.

Ted was thinking we could align them to all those light bits that punch their way through when the sun goes down.  Mark thinks we could align them to all the different places where the sun comes up.  I think we should compromise because we use both. But Bob, man, Bob thinks we should just make them geometric so as to look pleasing for all these people he’s calling tourists.

Can you believe that he thinks that we’re so far advanced people would just leave their crops and cattle and come look at stuff?  Mental.

Mark only agrees with Bob if we do these things called festivals.  Festivals, Mark says, Will be this big thing when we one day call ourselves English.  People will come and it will either pour down horrible rain or be so hot that they drop on sight.  It will be amazing!  And these rocks, here, now these rocks will be great for conversation.  We can set up mud houses and sell things like food and something he calls t-shirts.

I asked him why on Earth we’d call ourselves English.  He says he likes the sound of the letters.

Whatever.

Anyways, the festivals will happen when the sun moves around, or the light bits change, or the weather does that thing where it gets cold for a bit and we can’t really do much except drink the barley drink.

That sounds pretty decent.

Ed says that sounds too much like his idea of this place he keeps calling an amusement park.  He wants something called a ‘roller coaster’ put in on the hillside.  Bob disagrees because he’s got this whole walkway planned that is either going to be for us or the shadows of our ancestors.  Jeff is up in arms because Ed wants to build the start of this thing on top of his hill of sacred energy.

I’m beginning to think Bob and Jeff have really lost it.

Anyways, it’s going to take a while to build.  Like, a couple hundred years or so, but in phases.  That way my great-great-great-grandkids have something to both be proud of and participate in.

What’s really annoying me, however, is these guys down in Stonehenge say they’ve got an idea to put stuff on top of the rocks.

Psssh, that will take at least 500 years to figure out.

Prom v. Battle Prom

Posted in English Living with tags , , , on August 18, 2011 by cmerritt42

In the United States of America, a prom can be encapsulated into a picture like this:

When you tell an American that there is going to be Battle Proms at Blenheim Palace, the image changes to this:

Welcome, my friends to Battle Proms.  No one will live, but everyone will die in fabulous clothing.

According to Wikipedia, all source that is truth, an American “Prom” short for promenade, is a formal (black tie) dance, or gathering of high school students.  In England, “Prom” is short for promenade concert, a term which originally referred to outdoor concerts in London’s pleasure gardens, where the audience was free to stroll around while the orchestra was playing.  While in America you would refer to a Prom as a “Prom” (possibly denoting them as a Junior or Senior Prom depending on school age), in England the Prom can be called “The Proms” or in the case of Blenheim marketing, “BATTLE PROMS.”

During an American Prom, women dress in elaborate gowns often spending months or weeks of time (and possibly money) putting together the perfect look.  American men, once they find out the color and style of said dress, will then purchase or rent a complimentary black tie outfit.  In an English Prom, women and men both dress as comfortably as possible and bring several further layers of clothing including rain gear.  They also bring chairs, tables, blankets, bunting, several hundred tonnes of food and alcohol, candles, and possibly a shelter should the concert have bad weather or you need to survive in a park for several weeks being somehow unable to leave it.

On the day of the American Prom women receive corsages while men receive boutonnières.  These generally compliment the outfits or possibly compliment the theme of the Prom itself.  On the day of the English Prom you are, by law, required to bring at least one flag which can stand for England, Scotland, Wales, or the United Kingdom.  (You can bring a flag from your home country if it is not included in the above, but if you do not have a flag from your home country you must purchase one of the above.)  This flag will be utilized for waving profusely, and, if a monarch shows up, you cannot stop waving it until they either disappear behind a screen or building, or leave.

Transportation to an American Prom can be in a limo or a freshly cleaned automobile.  Transportation to an English Prom, specifically an English Battle Prom, requires care logistical planning on getting all supplies – plus people – into a car which may or may not have been cleaned recently.  You then drive out into a field for many, many, miles until you are pointed to park in another field. Then you must figure out the logistics of how you intend to get all supplies plus people into a spot in yet another field which has a bandstand, horses, and several rounds of heavy artillery.

An American Prom is denoted by a meal (sometimes at the Prom itself but also can be at a nice restaurant prior) and then dancing.  A Battle Prom is denoted by spraying your food over a central blanketed (or tabled) surface and eating until you pop.  This is followed by a pre-show band, horse display, orchestral selections, air show, fireworks, more orchestral selections, guns being fired, more fireworks, more orchestral selections… a potty break… more guns, some light waltzing, fireworks and singing.

You must be waving your flag at all times.  Even when the temperature drops down to freezing and you have wrapped yourself in several layers of clothing, all the bunting, and all the picnic blankets.  Failure to do so means you are put in the line of gun fire.

Like an American Prom, dancing is acceptable.  Unlike an American Prom (where the participants are under drinking age) dancing around like a drunken fool despite being in your mid-fifties, wearing a poncho, and doing a highland kick to accompany it is also acceptable.

While at an American Prom a “Class Song” or a “School Song” may be sung, often amongst a weepy crowd who is about to graduate and head off to college or trade.  An English Prom includes the screaming at the top of ones lungs Jerusalem, God Save the Queen, and believe it or not (I seriously did not know this song had lyrics) Pomp and Circumstance.  If you have not by this point collapsed in a drunk or over-stuffed food haze upon completing the singing activity, you have not successfully attended an English Prom.

Alternatively, it should be pointed out that collapsing after an American Prom is also achieves the status of having a good time.

It should be noted that while at the end of an American Prom is highlighted by being taken home in a state of blissful euphoria (or something like that) you have to pack up all the supplies you pulled across a field and wait amongst other tired, bloated English people to exit an English Prom.  Good thing is if you were picnicking near the gunfire, you can’t hear people complaining.  There’s a lot of ringing sounds, though.

Having experienced both I would say I greatly prefer the English version of Prom.  First, no stress in dressing up.  Second, several rounds of gunfire.  Third, fireworks accompanying several rounds of gunfire.  It was well worth the comparative ticket price I hacked up back when I was 18 and our American Prom was highlighted by constant thumping club music rendering us unable to talk or dance.  (The dancing had a lot to do with the fact that the women were all in gowns.  You can shake your booty in a gown no matter what they say.)

So there you have it.  One Prom, two worlds.  Now, if you don’t mind me I need to untangle all my bunting and put my English flags back in their cases for next year.

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